The children are in charge of the elders who are in their charge, of the tutors, it is necessary to see if that child is a neurotypical child, or a differentiated neuro child, okay? If within his neurodiversity he is, does he fit into the neurotypical or the differentiated neuro,ok? If he is neurotypical, the ideal is for you to call him to reason, you feel it, BE AN EXAMPLE FIRST, he feels it and say, ask what is happening to him, if he wants to talk, if he needs to talk and if he needs some space, and if he does - you give a space depending on their age, a 10-year-old child will not have a space of autonomy to be there alone, he can do anything, so he will have a controlled, verified, reviewed space to see what is happening, but you're going to give him a little space to calm down, you're going to bring him closer, give him a hug, find out what's going on, do you understand? Because tantrums express impotence, what we call tantrums, the child is saying that: "I feel helpless", "I don't know how to handle myself", "I NEED autonomy", but what is happening? Children, depending on their age, cannot be self-managed, parents have to be on top of them, to guide them, that's why we are parents, do you understand? Or that's why we are tutors, the obligation of parents is to guide their children, is it to guide their children. Give them tools to subsist, survive, protect their physical and mental integrity, so a 10-year-old child has no discernment to know what is right, what is wrong, what is good for him or not, so one as a tutor, one as responsible has to be attentive to what is happening to him, children do not throw tantrums just for the sake of it, first of all a child who was "spoiled", who raised him?, if your son is spoiled — who raised him? You understand? The neighbour? From who has he learned that, from the neighbours? NO!
So someone who has already learned a little more is important, who has a little more awareness and understands what is happening to him, something from someone or something I take out and listen to it, let's see my love, what is it that makes you impotent? Do you want to talk to mom? Do you want mom to listen to you? Do you want us to do something together? What is happening to you? What is it that frustrates you? ...or you can't do that, the child throws a tantrum, let's see my love, mom said you can't do that, do you understand why you can't do that? no!, well: I'm going to explain, and you explain…..do you understand what i mean?
If it is a matter of age, you decide: when you are that old you will be able to manage and self-manage and do it, when you are at such a time you will be able to do it, or until you do such a thing you will not be able to do it, say that it has the averages low, first it is to see emotionally what happens to him, mentally what happens to him and lastly if it is something lazy you say: look my love, until you finish that, you can not do the other thing, it is a matter of responsibility, in society we have we have to handle ourselves responsibly FREE, we have to do what we have to do to earn what we have to earn, it is an exchange: yes, living in society is a constant exchange, is that understood? so if they are in tantrum mode you have to talk to them, and ask if they want to talk, give them a monitored space, and when they get a little down, tell them: my love, do you want mom to listen to you, what's wrong with you?, put it on, do you understand? An example, at that moment, as a mother, his genetic inheritance comes out, his upbringing, and he gets excited because it also seizes you as parents, you understand? and if you feel impotence: EXPRESS HIM, tell him, if it is something that is repeated and you no longer know what to do, express to him that you also feel impotence, that you also feel frustrated, that you are trying to be the best version of mom or dad that you can know, but sometimes you can't respond to all his needs or projections and that you need him to accompany you too, is that understood? And at some point the creature will understand, because behind that childish mind that you have before you, there is a spirit that has lived many lives to get where it is, so that spirit also has the strength to bring that mind to reason.